"You know, if there was [sic] no such thing as the written word, I'd be telling stories on street corners."
---------Harold Robbins

Saturday, December 1, 2012

REPUBLICANS SUFFER NERVOUS BREAKDOWN



Republican National Committee Chairman, Reince Priebus has issued an emergency call for all Republican psychiatrists to come to Washington to aid many Republicans members of the House and Senate, who have suffered  nervous breakdowns after realizing that minority control of the U S Senate might be a thing of the past.  Mitch McConnell has been stricken with such a bad case of stuttering after hearing that Harry Reid had plans to return to the requirement that filibusters would actually require senators to take to the floor and talk around the clock as seen in the movie  “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” that he has been unable to utter an understandable sentence in more than twelve hours.

House majority leader  John Boehner fearing that the whole weight of obstructing the government would be on his shoulders was taken with such a crying jag that he was unable even to walk. An aide said that Mr. Boehner had finally cried himself to sleep but that he was fearful of what might happen if he awakens and realizes that Harry Reid is serious about a move permitting  a Senate  majority to pass legislation without allowing the minority to rewrite everything to their satisfaction.

Chairman Priebus was so desperate that he has called Newt Gingrich for assistance. He believes that Newt who once held vast power before finding himself shut out of Washington, will be able to administer some serious grief counseling to distraught Republicans.

Dr. Sigmund Sigmund, the little known descendant of the great Viennese shrink said that the Republicans were in extremely serious perils, having suffered two dire set backs in less than a month. They still have not recovered from the shatteringly unexpected lost of the Presidential contest at the beginning of November and now they have to realize that they are faced with the trauma of not being in absolute control of the government.

 Dr. SS suggested that the Republicans might be faced with overcoming the infantile omnipotency complex described by his illustrious ancestor. He explained that Freud had described the world of the new born as a place that catered to its  every need. When the baby is hungry or soiled, he simply has to cry and someone rushes to attend to his needs. When the infant finally begins to realize that he is only one of many persons with a multitude of needs, it can be a difficult period for the little tyke.

Sources said that Paul Ryan has run into the gym and has been exercising nonstop for most of the day. Several aides have tried to talk him into taking a rest, but he insists that he must train to run a three minute mile. Dr. SS said that it was one of the worst cases of denial that he had ever seen.

Chairman Priebus has cancelled all press appearances for the next couple of days for all  elected Republicans.  When asked if he would call on the services of Carl Rove,  Priebus said that Carl Rove had best attend to Carl Rove.

© Roger G McCorkle




Sunday, November 25, 2012

KOCH BROTHERS ANNOUNCE MAJOR CHARITABLE GIFT


In an expression of their extreme disappointment at the outcome of the 2012 election, the Koch brothers vowed to do every thing possible to avoid a repeat of another Obama-style presidency. Jim Dandy, a Koch spokesman, said that plans are being laid for the creation of a research center that will undertake to clone angry old white men. The Kochs plan to seed the center with an initial $100 million grant. He added that even if it cost several hundred million more that it would be more effective that all the money that was wasted with  “Turd Blossom” Rove.

Echoing Peter Morrison, the Hardin County Texas Republican treasurer, who said that the people who voted for Obama are maggots, Mr. Dandy said that the bothers had realized that it would never be possible to educate such irredeemably shiftless moochers to the benefits of laissez faire, the devil take the hindmost, free enterprise, capitalism. If you can’t sell ‘em, or disenfranchise ‘em, the only choice is to out vote ‘em.”

The distributed Koch press release, said that the goal was not only to create millions of angry old white men to vote, but to create as many clones as possible of the right kinds of politicians.  “Imagine the nation with fifty or one hundred thousand John Boehners and Mitch McConnells. This has the potential to turn the nation back to the path of small government, no rules, and no taxes for anyone making more than a million dollars a year.”

Spokesman Jim Dandy conceded that the project probably wouldn’t be complete in time for the 2016 election. He said that it was a long term goal that would probably take at least 8-10 years to be fully underway, but that he thought that there might be enough angry old white men clones by 2020 to move several of the most important swing states into the solid red column. He hinted that many of the first clones would be located in Florida, where they could easily pass unnoticed in the general population.
©Roger G McCorkle

cross post from open salon

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

MITT NEEDS MONEY

 Cross post from Open Salon of  Sept 12, 2012

 

 

Dear Patriotic Job Creator™,

Greeting from Return to Yesteryear®, the organization making the world safe for those who can say: "Yes, we built it!"

I had hoped that I would never have to write you this letter, but our nation is in peril. Our beloved Mitt Romney and his brilliant choice for veep, Paul Ryan, were beaten in fund raising in August by $114 million to $111 million. Even worse, Obama did this by appealing to a rag-tag crew of retirees and students for donations of as little as $3-5. Are we going to allow this motley bunch to decide who sits in the Oval Office? I should think not!

You may be thinking that it is only three million dollars difference. But that difference could see the job-killing, tax-raising Kenyan socialist return to the White House for four more years. Just think, if Obama is reelected and allows the Bush tax cuts to expire, that could cost you a lot more than three million dollars. Now is the time to act.

The good news is that we have an anonymous benefactor who is willing to match dollar for dollar your donations of $1 million or more during the next three days. In addition you will be able to donate anonymously to one of our special charities and take a tax deduction.

If you need help in transferring funds from an off-shore account, you may contact our campaign legal advisors, Wee Hyde Ewe and Howe, at their campaign email address:

Fun_raiser@www.entre_nous.ch



Swiss bank email is ever-so-private. Thanks to the Citizens United ruling, your funds will be discreetly transferred into one of our special numbered accounts. The hour is late and the need is pressing. I urge you to take advantage of a very special friend’s matching-funds offer right now. Delay could be expensive – very expensive. The last thing that any of us need is regret on November the 7th. If we wake up on that day and Obama and his union buddies have won it will be too late. Your moment to make a difference is now.

It goes without saying that Mitt is one loyal chap. I can assure you that he never forgets a friend – not that I am implying any quid pro quo, of course.

With your generous support, I am sure that the Wealth Creators™ of our nation will do even better in the future.

Your ever so discreet friend,

Max

 

©Roger G McCorkle



 









Thursday, February 9, 2012

UMG/ UNIVERAL FRANCE ET AL

                Or, how bizarre!

In spite of the fact that UMG/Universal France blocks my viewing of all French videos on You Tube, they send to me the following promotional for Madonna's new CD at my YouTube account on Monday, February 06, 2012 @ 5:00 PM EST [ie 11:00 PM Paris or European Central Time!]

Découvrez le nouveau single de MADONNA "Give me all your luvin" ainsi que son album MDNA disponible en version exclusive en pré-commande à durée limitée à 9.99€ jusqu'au 6 Février !
Disponible en téléchargement légal : http://bit.ly/A6qWwx" -- February 3, 2012

Or in English:
[Discover the new single from MADONNA "Give me all your luvin" and her album MDNA available in exclusive pre-order time-limited to € 9.99 until February 6th!
Available for download: http://bit.ly/A6qWwx "- February 3, 2012]
 
As if they hadn't already committed the absurdity of sending me a questionnaire in regard to my experience with a BluRay that I had ordered in January 2011 and received 6+ weeks later -- in March of 2011. The questionnaire was sent on January 27th and offered a €5 discount on a future purchases for taking the survey. After completing the survey, I was rewarded with a discount code good on any purchase of €35 or more good until January 10!

Why they didn't just date the discount code good till the Ides of March of 63 BC I don't know.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

AMERICAN CORPORATIONS ARE DOING GREAT. YOU ARE IRRELEVANT: THEY NEITHER CARE FOR NOR NEED YOU.

The reports of 2nd quarter profits of American corporations were nothing short of amazing. In the decades following World War II any corporation that realized an increase in profits of 3-5% was consider a sure fire winner. Investors lined up and the stock price climbed. Then by the ‘80s and Ronald Reagan, such returns were no longer acceptable and 5-10% growth became the new baseline. Now in our Brave New Globalized World profits must grow by geometric proportions to be acceptable. Three fourth of companies reporting 2nd-quarter results show unprecedented jumps in profit:

>>GE Capital profit jumps 123%
>>MasterCard profit up 33%
>>Mattel net income jumps 56 %
>>Citigroup up 24% [$3.3 billion]
>> Caterpillar up 44% [$1 Billion]
>> Dow Chemical Profit up 74%
>>Visa up 40%
>>Exxon Earning up 41%
>>Starbuck's profit up 33%
>>Chevron profit jumps 43%
>>GM profits jump 89%
>>Dell Posts Flat Sales --Profits rise 63%

The figures for Dell computer are typical. Corporations with no gain in sales and in many cases with even lower sales figures are reporting vastly increased profits. The oblivious question is: What is the source of these sudden corporate gains?

The AP wire carried a brief story in a recent late Friday release [see my previous post for more on the "Friday Follies."] that revealed the extent of the share of the pie that corporations are taking. It summarised finding of the Center for Labour Market Studies at Northeastrn University, according to the director Andrew Sum:

                         Boom in Corporate Profits, A Bust in Jobs, Wages
Paul Wiseman, AP Economics Writer, On Friday July 22, 2011, 6:36 pm EDT http://finance.yahoo.com/news/A-boom-in-corporate-profits-a-apf-3135711604.html?x=0
[note: Yahoo news links tend to go dead after 1-3 days]


"I've never seen labor markets this weak in 35 years of research," says Andrew Sum....Wages and salaries accounted for just 1 percent of economic growth in the first 18 months after economists declared that the recession had ended in June 2009...Corporate profits, by contrast, accounted for an unprecedented 88 percent of economic growth during [the same time period]...
Director Sum cited several factors at work in this unprecedented disparity. The two most important being the expansion of American corporations to over seas market; and second, the surplus work force created by the army of unemployed Americans. As Sum noted: "...companies are squeezing more productivity out of staffs thinned by layoffs during the Great Recession. They don't need to hire. And they don't need to be generous with pay raises; they know their employees have nowhere else to go."

How extensive is this problem? Steve Davidoff in his "Deal Professor" column in the New York Times Dealbook on August 16,2011,section gives some amazing answers.

http://dealbook.nytimes.com/category/main-topics/legal/http://dealbook.nytimes.com/category/columnists/deal-professor/
 [The link is to Dealbook, which is not behind the NYT paywall.]
A recent Standard & Poor’s study found that 50 percent of sales by companies in the S.&P. 500-stock index are outside the United States. [Emphais added] Interestingly, the report also found that these companies paid more in foreign taxes than to the United States government....
In 2004, Congress enacted the American Jobs Creation Act, a tax holiday for companies to repatriate cash. The dividend tax was reduced to 5.25 percent from 35 percent. In exchange for this reduction, Congress required that any cash repatriated be invested in the United States. The cash could not be used for dividends or stock repurchases.
Alas, cash is fungible...[A study:]The Unintended Consequences of the Homeland Investment Act," found that in the year following the act, repatriations increased by $230 billion from the previous year, to $299 But the repatriation did not result in increased investment. Instead, companies largely repatriated the money and used their current United States holdings to pay out dividends or engage in share repurchases. This was contrary to what Congress had intended.
For those who can’t understand the nature of the war being waged on the majority of American citizens, it is only necessary to look to the professional financial advisory services. On October 8, 2009 the market advisor Rakesh Saxena writing on the site "Quote Platform" spelled out the facts of the Globalized economy.

Noting that India with a population of over one billion persons had hundreds of millions living on the edge of starvation, he said that those numbers do not matter. All that is important is the realization that India has over 350 million people with upper middle class incomes, who are in the market for new cars and flat-screen TVs,  and that that is a group larger than many other nations.  In other words, only those with money count. Those who have fallen off the apple cart can be safely forgotten. He concludes his market analysis:
At the same time, equity prices should face no risks from negative unemployment data. The thousands of desperate, unemployed workers who lined up in downtown Detroit [in Oct 2009]for housing assistance bitterly complained about the Obama Administration’s inability to generate jobs despite the promises made during, and immediately after, the last presidential elections. But, as a Wall Street hedge fund manager asked, "Who cares?"
 
 

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

THE FRIDAY FIVE O'CLOCK FOLLIES


The Federal Government as well as most major corporations long ago discovered a wonderfully easy way to bury unpleasant news that they hope never comes to the attention of most people: the Friday evening press conference.

By three P.M. on Friday almost everyone is packing up to get out of the office and onto the pleasures of the week end. Rather than conceal the really bad news, the "Powers that Be" choose to send an underling to announce the bad news. After all, with the name reporters from both the print and electronic media gone, the briefing by the Fourth Under Secretary of The Treasury will only be attended by cub reporters and interns.  The story is then buried under all the human interest stories and puff pieces that were prepared earlier in the week to fill in for the lack of hard news. By the following week the story is old news and will be forgotten in the hurly-burly of the ongoing circus.

If someone manages to dig out the story later and attempts to bring it into the spotlight, it will be dismissed as old news and not worthy of attention. It is truly amazing how many really important stories managed to get buried in the weekend follies.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

WHEN PROTESTS ARE IGNORED

Get beyond the idea of the media. Do something they can't ignore.

In the Miami/Ft lauderdale market there have been MoveOn and other protests where hundreds of people showed up and no media coverage. At one large protest a local station [The locals are Network owned] sent a team that did over an hour's worth of taping with inteviews. It ended up as a 20 second piece just before the commercal break leading into the sports roundup on the 11 PM News.

As Boss Tweed said: "In politices the first thing is money; I forget what the second is."

I have been campaigning for a "NO SHOPPING DAY" on the 1st Saturday of each month. This will work. On Tuesday Aug 2nd the Consumer Spending report showed a decline of 00.2%. The Dow fell over 265 points! YEAH! It does get attention.

If even 20% of the public quit spending money -- in malls, on line, and paying bills --on the 1st Saturday of each month, things would begin to change. The reasons for the 1st Saturday are twofold: [1] It is easy to remember, and [2] there are more complex economic reasons that would give this act maximum impact, but would be beyond the scope of this post.

THINK!! ACT!!!

The secret of getting things done is to act!
Dante Alighieri