Cross post from Open Salon of Sept 12, 2012
Dear Patriotic Job Creator™,
Greeting from Return to Yesteryear®, the organization making the world safe for those who can say: "Yes, we built it!"
I had hoped that I would never have to write you this letter, but our nation is in peril. Our beloved Mitt Romney and his brilliant choice for veep, Paul Ryan, were beaten in fund raising in August by $114 million to $111 million. Even worse, Obama did this by appealing to a rag-tag crew of retirees and students for donations of as little as $3-5. Are we going to allow this motley bunch to decide who sits in the Oval Office? I should think not!
You may be thinking that it is only three million dollars difference. But that difference could see the job-killing, tax-raising Kenyan socialist return to the White House for four more years. Just think, if Obama is reelected and allows the Bush tax cuts to expire, that could cost you a lot more than three million dollars. Now is the time to act.
The good news is that we have an anonymous benefactor who is willing to match dollar for dollar your donations of $1 million or more during the next three days. In addition you will be able to donate anonymously to one of our special charities and take a tax deduction.
If you need help in transferring funds from an off-shore account, you may contact our campaign legal advisors, Wee Hyde Ewe and Howe, at their campaign email address:
Swiss bank email is ever-so-private. Thanks to the Citizens United ruling, your funds will be discreetly transferred into one of our special numbered accounts. The hour is late and the need is pressing. I urge you to take advantage of a very special friend’s matching-funds offer right now. Delay could be expensive – very expensive. The last thing that any of us need is regret on November the 7th. If we wake up on that day and Obama and his union buddies have won it will be too late. Your moment to make a difference is now.
It goes without saying that Mitt is one loyal chap. I can assure you that he never forgets a friend – not that I am implying any quid pro quo, of course.
With your generous support, I am sure that the Wealth Creators™ of our nation will do even better in the future.
Your ever so discreet friend,
©Roger G McCorkle