Sunday, November 25, 2012
KOCH BROTHERS ANNOUNCE MAJOR CHARITABLE GIFT
In an expression of their extreme disappointment at the outcome of the 2012 election, the Koch brothers vowed to do every thing possible to avoid a repeat of another Obama-style presidency. Jim Dandy, a Koch spokesman, said that plans are being laid for the creation of a research center that will undertake to clone angry old white men. The Kochs plan to seed the center with an initial $100 million grant. He added that even if it cost several hundred million more that it would be more effective that all the money that was wasted with “Turd Blossom” Rove.
Echoing Peter Morrison, the Hardin County Texas Republican treasurer, who said that the people who voted for Obama are maggots, Mr. Dandy said that the bothers had realized that it would never be possible to educate such irredeemably shiftless moochers to the benefits of laissez faire, the devil take the hindmost, free enterprise, capitalism. If you can’t sell ‘em, or disenfranchise ‘em, the only choice is to out vote ‘em.”
The distributed Koch press release, said that the goal was not only to create millions of angry old white men to vote, but to create as many clones as possible of the right kinds of politicians. “Imagine the nation with fifty or one hundred thousand John Boehners and Mitch McConnells. This has the potential to turn the nation back to the path of small government, no rules, and no taxes for anyone making more than a million dollars a year.”
Spokesman Jim Dandy conceded that the project probably wouldn’t be complete in time for the 2016 election. He said that it was a long term goal that would probably take at least 8-10 years to be fully underway, but that he thought that there might be enough angry old white men clones by 2020 to move several of the most important swing states into the solid red column. He hinted that many of the first clones would be located in Florida, where they could easily pass unnoticed in the general population.
©Roger G McCorkle
cross post from open salon